


Unscripted Feelings

by ask_twbwy



Series: The World Begins With You [8]
Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: F/M, One-Sided Crush, Post-Game, Spoilers, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4698407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ask_twbwy/pseuds/ask_twbwy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eri’s the most popular girl in school, and she knows the script well-how everyone wants to date her. In reality, though, she believes she can’t fall in love. So why is it she can’t stop thinking about helping a certain lonely Composer?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unscripted Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Written by: Ayame

“Will you go out with me?”

Eri turned to her classmate, her eyes not surprised, but instead saddened. She heard that question far too often, and her answer always came like a well-rehearsed script.

“Thanks. It’s nice to know you think of me like that.” She smiled—right on cue for the scene. “But, you should save those feelings for someone even more special—someone who can love you as much as you love them.” Finally, her leave to end it. “I hope we can continue being friends, though. I’ll see you in class.” She then turned to walk away, but this boy kept the show going.

“Haven’t we been getting close recently? Haven’t we had fun talking?” he called after her, making her stop in the lone school hall again. “I’m not just like all the other guys in class—you said yourself that I’m pretty cool!” He clenched his fists. “Or does any of that not matter? What, do you think you’re too good for anyone just because you’re so popular? You’ll always be alone if you keep treating us like crap, you know!”

Eri lowered her head, her thoughts swelling inside it. Of course, she was the bad guy here—just like in every movie. The one who sent out unrequited love was the sympathetic hero, while the one unable to return it was the villain. She always played that role, so without another word, she ran.

None of them understood—this was her curse. It hurt to be the heartbreaker, but she knew it’d be worse if she led them on. As much as she wanted to find someone special and date, as much as she wanted to flirt, she couldn’t feel that way about anyone in class. They were all too boring or played too many games to try and win her over. Or, perhaps even worse, maybe she was incapable of falling for anyone.

It was ironic, really. She was born because her mother fell in love young. The two had been engaged and planned on getting married, but that fell through as their love fell apart. They went their separate ways, with only Eri remaining as proof of their secret connection.

Eri stopped once outside, part of her wondering if she should skip today. The other part told her no, though, and that she had to face it with a smile and make things seem normal. Her eyes stared up towards the sunlight, and she covered them as she basked under the blue sky.

 _I used to think I was being punished because my parents never married—punished by some god,_  she thought. Wavy hair almost silver in color flashed in her mind, and a small smile met her lips. _Now, though, I know that Shibuya’s “god” isn’t like that. He’s really just like a normal person._

That thought cheered her up, and she began a quiet stroll through the school gardens while she had a little more time before class.

Joshua, the Composer. Eri had met him when she and all of Shiki’s new friends went to invite him to the movies, but Shiki had told Eri everything she knew about the Game before then. Joshua had spent so much time purposely taunting and flirting with Neku to make Shiki jealous that even now, thinking back on it, Eri wanted to laugh again. He’d also brushed off all her questions about his job and the UG, but in such a way she found she didn’t care about that—in fact, she almost felt like she’d learned more about him from him dodging the questions.

 _Okay, so maybe he’s not exactly a normal person,_  she admitted to herself as the school bell rang over the yard. It was time for her to get to class.  _But he doesn’t just punish people he doesn’t know._  And perhaps, she wasn’t cursed after all. Rather, she just hadn’t found the right person yet.

In class, Eri greeted Shiki and sat down in the desk next to her. Today, she’d brought what she’d promised: an outfit design so Shiki could make something for Neku.

“So, if this new one’s for Neku, then what about the rest?” Shiki asked, flipping back to the other recent designs Eri had drawn. “Like this jacket.” She stopped on one with lines, which they’d discussed sewing music notes on for a specific song. “You never told me what song to do on it.”

“He didn’t really give me a straightforward answer,” Eri complained, resting her head in her hands as she mused. “Maybe something classical? Or wait on the notes part until I get back to you on that one.”

“Okay, I can do that, but who’s it for?”

Eri threw a smile at her best friend and answered with one simple word: “Josh.”

“Wait—what?!” Shiki exclaimed, reeling back so much in her surprise that she almost fell out of her chair. “Josh—you mean Composer Josh? The one we all know?”

“Yeah.” Eri tilted her head, wondering why Shiki seemed so shocked. “His outfit doesn’t exactly scream ‘Composer,’ so I wanted to try designing something more fitting for him.” Her eyebrows scrunched up in worry as she continued, “I don’t know if he’ll even like it, though, so don’t feel too rushed. He’s kinda hard to learn about, even with Neku’s help.”

Eri stopped, her breath hitching as she considered her own words.  _With_ Neku’s _help?_  she thought.  _But aren’t I the one helping him and Josh be friends?_

“Is that why you’ve been taking Neku to the Shibuya River after school?” Shiki prodded. “Are you trying to be Joshua’s friend?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Eri answered, and her mouth ran away with her again. “He just seems so lonely. I want to help him if I can.”

_Saving a “god” from loneliness… That isn’t weird, is it? I mean, he’ll probably live forever, and I’m just a mortal girl. Can I really help him?_

Class began again, and Eri doodled on her notes as the teacher droned on. She drew him the way he’d probably always be—a fifteen year old boy. Yet she would continue to grow older until one day, she’d die.

Eri frowned, touching her chin with the pencil’s eraser as she stared at the chalkboard.  _But if I die and play the Game like they did, could I maybe stay in the UG?_  She smiled again, now telling herself there was nothing to worry about.  _I’ll be older by then, but if I did that, I could still be his friend, and he wouldn’t have to be alone forever._  She ran her fingers over the drawing before fixing a few small features.  _I’ll figure out a way somehow._

When class ended, Eri stood and gathered her things, a grin on her face. She had every intention of dragging Neku with her to visit Joshua again, but she soon found her friends had other plans in mind.

Eri approached the door with Shiki, neither paying attention as they discussed today’s lesson. They almost ran into Neku, who actually came to their class on his own for once.

“Neku?” Shiki gasped, startled.

“Hey,” he greeted, averting his eyes. He then held up his purple flip phone and told her, “Beat and Rhyme wanna meet up with us in Miyashita Park. They say they have things to tell us about some of the people we met in the Game.”

“Oh, sure! I have some time.” Turning to her best friend, Shiki asked, “What about you, Eri?”

Something inside Eri drooped, but she couldn’t even figure out what. “It’s fine,” she soon replied with her usual cheeriness. “Go on ahead—I doubt I’ll know the people.”

“You can still come if you want,” Shiki offered. “You’re our friend, too.”

“I know, and thanks. But really, it’s fine.” And that’s when another idea hit her. “I have somewhere I need to go anyway.”

They all went to change their shoes before saying their goodbyes, and they separated in the crowds of Shibuya.

Eri didn’t get far before she heard a voice call out her name. Confused, she turned to find two fellow classmates hurrying her way. Only, these two weren’t just any classmates. Nariko and Umeko, two that she’d known since childhood and used to be close friends with. However, that ended when Eri found out they participated in bullying Shiki.

“We heard you turned down Sato,” Umeko said, clutching her skirt as she fought to rekindle their friendship. “Any reason why?”

“It’s the same reason as always,” Eri replied, turning away a little. Talking to these two anymore was always so awkward for her, but sometimes, they still reminded her of why they’d been friends in the first place. “I can’t just love someone like that, and I don’t want to date someone I don’t love.”

“What would you do if you did fall in love?” Nariko asked, and that made Eri pause.

Putting her arms behind her back, the redhead stepped forward, staring up at the cloudy sky. “I dunno. Probably nothing, really. I wouldn’t want to put anyone in my shoes, where they can’t feel the same about someone that happens to like him.”

“Are you crazy? Everyone loves you. You’re the most popular girl in school for a reason, you know.”

Eri turned a smile to them and replied, “Not everyone.” And with that, she spun around and hurried away.

She knew exactly where she wanted to go, but she didn’t even know why she insisted on going now when she didn’t even have a reason to. After all, that guy no doubt saw her as annoying. Why wouldn’t he, considering how forceful she’d been recently? Between taking Neku there every day she could and dragging him out. Last time almost made her wonder if she did something wrong. He claimed he didn’t do sweat, but instead of listening to him, she’d dragged him out into the hot sun, moving fast to meet up with her friends in Miyashita Park to see Beat’s skateboarding tricks.

Soon enough, Eri stood past the Shibuya River, in front of the wall that would lead her into the Dead God’s Pad. With nothing to help her but her own smile, she knocked on the wall and waited for the door to appear.

The wall seemed to hesitate, as if deciding whether to let her in or not. Soon enough, though, the door appeared when she blinked, acting like it’d always been there. She turned the handle and opened it up to enter the lounge that’d recently become so familiar to her.

Like usual, Josh lounged on one of the couches, playing on his phone. “No Neku with you today,” he commented without looking up. “Does that mean you’re here to try and whisk me away to where they are?”

“Nope,” Eri replied as she walked over and sat next to him, trapping his legs behind her as she leaned back. “I’m here to hang out with you.”

Joshua blinked, taking a moment to comprehend that. Not only that, but she’d made it so he couldn’t move even if he wanted to. He had no choice but to stare at either her or his phone, and he inevitably chose the latter. “You’d be best off going to find someone else to hang out with, then. I don’t entertain.”

“That’s fine,” Eri said, not missing a beat, “because I’m here to entertain you.”

Joshua raised an eyebrow towards her in a silent challenge—a challenge she’d gladly accept.

“There’s a lot we could do, really,” Eri continued before rummaging through her bag. “I brought some new video games I found for you to try. Or we could watch that Tin Pin show, we could talk… Oh, we could also play table soccer!” Turning a grin back to him, she suggested, “We could also go shopping. I could help you find some amazing new clothes!”

Joshua sighed and shrugged. “A lot of those options are quite tempting, but I can’t just play around whenever, dear.” He held up his phone. “I’m quite busy.”

“Half the time you’re playing Reaper’s Grim,” Eri combatted. “Which, admittedly, is the best phone game, but you’re still totally not busy. It doesn’t even have another update yet.”

Another sigh, and the Composer complained, “You’re sending mixed signals, you know. First you don’t want me working, then you whine about no update. I can’t not work and work at the same time, even with all my powers.”

Eri stopped, her smile leaving in favor of wide eyes. “Wait—you made that game?!” she gasped.

“I can’t very well keep my fans waiting forever, now, can I?”

She peeked over his hand in order to look down at his screen. Her pink hair brushed against his arms, making him twitch in surprise. Not only that, but staring up at her head, he found she’d done something no one had dared to do perhaps his whole life—she was so  _close_.

“You’re not even working on it now, though,” she observed. “Who’s… Noa Watanabe?”

Joshua flipped his phone shut. “That’s not the only thing I work on. It’s simply one of the many things I’m known for.”

“So when do you take time to have fun?” Eri asked, tilting her head.

“‘Fun’ isn’t on my list of things that need to get done.”

“But isn’t that just so boring? Only working every day, with no one to talk to… Do you even have other friends besides Neku?”

Joshua didn’t answer. His fingers gripped his phone tight, and he tried to avert his eyes. Eri sat back and studied him, knowing she hit the nail on the head. But then, she’d thought his position sounded odd ever since Neku first told Shiki she shouldn’t have said anything about it to Eri. Joshua was Shibuya’s biggest and best kept secret—a “god” that no one could know about.

Then again, even if they did know, the people in the RG would never believe it. They were already too used to their lore and their gods—who would believe the truth, that Shibuya was ruled by a boy with such a sadistic chuckle? Plus, she knew he was gay, bi, or pan. While not as bad as in other countries she’d studied, she knew of some who still had troubles here admitting the truth to society, including a few dealings she’d had when girls had asked her out. Part of her wondered how society would take the truth about him.

 _Though, it’s actually pretty fitting,_  she thought as she stared at him, his wavy hair cropping his face in a way that could only be described as “pretty.”  _Shibuya is where trends are set, so why shouldn’t our “god” be more open?_  And yet, something inside her also fluttered, anxious.  _So, which are you?_  she couldn’t help but wonder, scolding herself at the same time with a “why should it matter?”

“So um,” she spat out, pushing her thoughts aside, “if not for me and Neku and all of us, who all would you be talking to now?”

Joshua opened his phone again and used it to distract himself. “That’s still to be decided.”

Eri blinked, putting two and two together. “So then that Noa could be one of the people? Who else?”

“Curiosity killed the cat,” Joshua answered with a smirk, his purple eyes capturing her brown ones. “I could tell you more, but then I might have to kill you.” With a few more presses on his phone, a gun appeared in his hand, and he pointed it at her. “Though, I suppose you  _would_  make an entertaining Player.”

Eri’s gaze fell from his face down to the gun, and her eyes lit up. She wrapped her hands around it and turned it up, her mouth agape in wonder. “How did you do that?” she asked, sparkling in fascination. “Wait—is this the one you killed yourself with? It’s the same model as in Reaper’s Grim, too—it’s almost like a relic!”

Needless to say, he’d expected almost any reaction—but not _that_  one. For perhaps the first time ever, he had to struggle to shrug off his surprise. “What can I say? I’m one for the classics. And anyway, should I be questioning how you know all that?”

“Oh yeah, here!” Eri pulled a folder out of her bag to show him and boasted, “These are all the notes my mom had on you from when she did an article about you. I’ve memorized them already, but I thought it might be bad if others found this, so you can have it.”

“You memorized them?” Joshua repeated, placing his hand over his mouth as he frowned. “I doubt they were  _that_  interesting. My life was one big bore. Still is, really, and you’d be best off accepting that and going about your own.”

 _One big bore, huh?_  Eri thought.  _But you’re not—you’re so much fun. So why can’t you have fun?_

Eri’s gaze fell back to the Composer’s orange phone, and she considered for a moment. How could she get him to take some time off?

Then, an idea hit her. “I know! I’ll help you with figuring out which Reapers can talk to, but then I get you for a shopping date!”

 _…Date?_  She cursed herself for that choice of wording.  _What am I talking about? I’m cursed never to love. That isn’t what this is—it can’t be,_  she told herself.  _He’s just cool, so I want to be his friend and hang out with him. He’s way too cool to leave alone._

“I appreciate the thought even though you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Joshua replied.

“You’re a secret, aren’t you?” Eri pointed out, determined to prove him wrong. “Which means you can’t meet them and judge them for yourself first. So, let me meet with them for you. I can pretend to be a Reaper and say anything you want me to while you watch. I’ll be your words.”

Yes, a script—she knew that all too well. But this time, it wasn’t for her, but for someone else, someone she wanted to help more than anything. Her heart began to beat fast as she waited for his reply.  _Let me in, and I’ll change things for both of us. You don’t have to be alone anymore._

After hesitating, Joshua pointed out, “And just how exactly do you plan on keeping the guise up? You’re not a Reaper and can’t even enter the UG on your own.”

“But you control that, don’t you? And how the UG’s run. Couldn’t you make it hard for them to tell I’m human somehow?”

“I could, but there’s only so much one can do when you’re not dead.”

“Then I’ll cover it up with my acting skills,” she suggested. “You said when we first met that you control things here, so as long as you keep them from doing any sort of weird sense-y thing, all I have to do is pretend I’m one of them. Piece of cake!”

“You certainly sound confident. Have you ever acted before?” he asked, still unsure.

“Yep! I was lead in a play when I was a kid.”

“Well, in that case, I’m sure we’ll all tremble in our boots at your wonderful child acting skills,” Joshua taunted, his voice dripping with sarcasm—a move that earned a pillow slammed into his face. For half a second, he considered punishing her, but as the pillow lowered, he found the girl laughing.

“S-sorry! I didn’t mean to hit your face,” she managed between giggles, and she reached over to fix his hair. “Heheh, you really are mean sometimes.”

“Then… Why are you laughing?”

“Because it’s fun,” she answered. Calming down, she returned to the problem at hand and continued, “Just let me try, okay? To interview them for you. It doesn’t hurt you, really, since they won’t know who you are. Plus, you don’t even have to pick from that if you don’t like how it goes. And if you don’t feel like you can pick, I won’t make you go shopping with me. Deal?”

Joshua considered, staring down at the pillow. Finally, his answer came, along with hope rising deep inside her. “I suppose I can let you make a fool of yourself if you really want to. It’s better than nothing, and I  _would_  rather see them answer questions before hiring them.”

“Then it’s decided!” Eri’s grin grew far bigger than she thought it could. “You come up with what you want me to say, and I’ll figure out where to take you shopping. I promise I won’t let you down!”

“We’ll let your actions be the judge of that.” He let the gun rest in his lap, observing her as if she was a puzzle to figure out. “I’ll be watching your performance, too, so you better not slip up. Betrayal tends to push my buttons.”

 _Betrayal?_  She stared right back at him, wanting to know more—had his trust been broken before?

There was so much she still wanted to know about him. Now, she had her first step into his world, and she wasn’t about to let that go. “I’m good with scripts,” she told him as she swung her legs in excitement. Cursed or not, it didn’t have to matter with him, and nor did she have to worry about her own image around him. It was a job for her alone, and best of all, she knew that she didn’t need to bring Neku along for this.

She could save him from loneliness on her own.


End file.
